Are we right or wrong? Mother in law question?

I think you are more than generous. 2 round trips a year is quite a lot of money to shell out. If she wanted to take a trip, and it sounds like there is more family in Holland, can't they take her on a day trip? Doesn't she have any friends to go somewhere with? Going somewhere doesn't mean spending thousands of dollars, a trip to a hotel, resort, or just a day spa is a nice trip to me. In our local town, there are senior centers that hold dances, bingo parties, and trips into the larger cities. See if you can find someone there to help - you can't do everything. Don't get yourself down - you are a good daughter-in-law.